I wasn't planning on writing anything else for Halloween, but the call beckons me to march on. People always make a big deal about monster movies, so I wanted to talk about my all-time favorite, The Monster Squad. For those poor, uninitiated few, it was a movie about a group of pre-teens in the late 80s who form a club to take out the forces of evil. Why do monsters just suddenly show up in this small town? Because, reasons. The film has become a cult classic over the years, and for me, is one of those movies that I loved as a kid and will still watch frequently today. In my opinion, it has the most terrifying Wolfman ever put on film, and Duncan Regehr gives one of the best portrayals of Dracula that you'll ever see, and that's not just me, he's received legitimate praise for the role from reputable critics. It also has Jason Hervey and the guy who played Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite, so that's also something.
Of course, being a late 80s action/horror/comedy, it has its fair share of ridiculous (i.e. awesome) moments, but I've limited myself to just 5 (or 6) for the sake of the readers, too much 80s stimuli is enough to kill a man.
Honorable Mention: The Answer to the Question of Wolfman's Manhood
If you've ever seen the movie, you know this amazing line, and I'll just leave it at that.
5. Greatest Montage Ever
This has got to be the most 80s thing ever. That song, kids making bullets in class and not a single teacher finding it suspicious, that kid bobbing his head to show you how much he rocks, it's just perfect. Rocky had its fair share of corny montages (let us not forget when Rocky and Apollo run on the beach in booty shorts), but if you want one that will make you laugh and shake your head at the same time, look no further.
4. Mummy Came in my House
This scene is actually kind of endearing. It shows a child's innocence and his father's love for him. In hindsight, it's a terribly telegraphed gag, but when I was a child, I thought it was really scary. I mean, the mummy is right there! Look! Just look, you idiot! He's going to get you! RUN!
I know An American Werewolf in London has the most well-known transformation in horror, but I think this one deserves some credit. The fanatical man trying to help the police, only to be denied and subsequently transform while still on the phone. How would that not freak you out if you were on the other end of that line? The foaming at the mouth is always cool, the movement of the cheekbones and hair growth, and then the way he demolishes the phone booth, it's all so metal. Then he lets out that roar and you know things are about to go down.
2. Dracula is Terrifying
I think the reason Regehr is so good as Dracula is because he remains so calm and reserved throughout the film, the quiet evil. It's so effective that once he finally snaps and flares his fangs, it's legitimately scary. Fun fact: Ashley Bank, who plays the little girl in the scene, wasn't told that Regehr was going to have his fangs and contacts in, and her screams of fear are completely real. Today, that would be called 'child abuse.'
1. Wolfman's Death and Resurrection
Just watch this, and watch the entire thing. This is easily the best 3 minutes in the movie.
Thanks for reading.